Does God Exist?
A Letter for the Searching Soul. A newsletter for the ones who are still asking
You have been through something. Maybe you are going through it right now. Something that broke you in a way that left you sitting in the silence, staring at the ceiling, and asking a question you never thought you would ask out loud.
Does God actually exist?
Does God Exist?
Not the theological version of that question. Not the debate you watch on YouTube between scientists and pastors. The personal version. The raw, 2am version. The version that comes after a loss, after a betrayal, after a prayer that went unanswered for so long you stopped praying altogether.
That question is what this letter is about.
THE QUESTION NOBODY WANTS TO ADMIT
Here is the thing most people will not say in church a lot of us have doubted. A lot of us have sat in the pew, sung the songs, raised our hands, and still gone home wondering if any of it was real. Wondering if anyone was listening. Wondering why, if God is as powerful and as loving as we were told, things could go this wrong.
You watched someone you love suffer. You lost something you built with your own hands. You were deceived by someone who quoted scripture while they manipulated you. You gave everything you had to a relationship, a business, a dream and it collapsed anyway. You prayed. You fasted. You believed. And then you waited. And waited. And the answer never came or it came as something that looked nothing like what you asked for.
So you asked: If God exists if He is real, if He is good, if He is watching why did He let this happen? Has He seen this? Does He even care?
Those are not faithless questions. Those are honest questions. And I want you to know the fact that you are still asking means something. The fact that you are still searching means the door has not closed. You have not given up. You are just tired. And tired is not the same as finished.
THE DECEPTION AND THE MANIPULATION
Let us talk about something that does not get addressed enough in faith spaces. Some people have been hurt in the name of God. Manipulated by leaders who used the church as a stage. Deceived by people who wore faith like a costume and used it to control, to take, to wound.
And when that happens when the people who were supposed to represent God become the reason you are bleeding it is almost impossible to separate the person from the God they claimed to serve.
But here is what I need you to hear:
“Your faith should not be built on a mortal man. Not a pastor, not a prophet, not a parent, not a partner. Every one of them is human capable of failing, capable of falling, capable of getting it deeply wrong.”
The moment you place the weight of your belief on another person’s shoulders, you are setting yourself up for a faith that crumbles the moment they do. And people will always, eventually, disappoint you. That is not bitterness that is just the truth about being human.
God and the people who claim to speak for Him are not the same thing. The failure of a man does not disprove the existence of the God he pointed to.
THE UNANSWERED PRAYERS
Maybe it is not a person that shook your faith. Maybe it is the silence. The prayers that bounced off the ceiling and came back empty. The specific thing you asked for, believed for, stood on scripture for and did not receive.
That silence can feel like rejection. It can feel like confirmation of your worst fear: that you are talking to no one. That the universe is indifferent. That you are alone in this.
But open your Bible. Not to perform. Not to find a verse to post on social media. Open it the way you would open a letter from someone who knows you. Because faith, the real kind, the kind that holds in the dark comes by hearing. And hearing by the Word of God.
“So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”
ROMANS 10:17
This means faith is not manufactured by willpower. It is not something you force yourself to feel. It grows when you put yourself in the presence of the Word. When you read it not as a religious duty but as a living conversation. When you stop reading it to check a box and start reading it to actually encounter something.
And here is what happens when your eyes open spiritually even the simplest line in the Bible will hit you in a way it never did before. A verse you have read a hundred times will suddenly feel like it was written specifically for the season you are in right now. That is not coincidence. That is encounter.
I AM NOT HERE TO PROVE GOD EXISTS
I want to be honest with you. I am not writing this to prove that God exists.
Because God does not need me to prove Him. He is not sitting in heaven waiting for a well-constructed argument to validate His existence. If you are looking for proof, look at creation. Look at the fact that your heart is still beating after everything it has been through. Look at the moment that should have broken you completely and somehow did not.
“The proof of God is not found in the absence of pain. It is found in the fact that you survived it.”
He can prove His own existence. And He does not always in the way we expect, not always in the timing we demand, but He does. In the quiet moment after the storm. In the stranger who said the exact thing you needed to hear. In the door that closed and the one that opened in its place, slowly, later, when you were finally ready to walk through it.
WHAT THIS IS REALLY ABOUT
This is not about what happened to you. I know that sounds almost impossible to accept when what happened was devastating. When what happened left marks. When what happened changed the shape of your life.
But faith was never meant to be a shield against pain. It was never promised as a life free of hardship. What it was promised as what it still is is an anchor that holds even when everything around you is moving. A foundation that does not shift when the ground does.
The bad things happening around you are real. The deception was real. The unanswered prayer was real. The grief is real. None of that is cancelled out. But none of it is the final word either.
Your faith cannot live or die based on your circumstances. Circumstances change. Sometimes they get worse before they get better. Sometimes the situation you are in right now is the very thing that is forging something in you that could not have been built any other way.
This is about your own experience with God. Not what your mother told you. Not what the preacher said. Not what happened to someone else. Your personal, private, unfiltered experience of encountering something that is bigger than your pain, bigger than your doubt, bigger than your questions.
And when your eyes open spiritually, truly open you will not need anyone to convince you of anything. The simplest verse will carry the weight of a whole sermon. The quietest moment of prayer will feel more real than anything you can touch. You will know. Not because someone argued you into it. But because you encountered it.
A WORD BEFORE YOU GO
To the one who has been through the fire everything will eventually work out. Not because life promises that, but because the God who holds your story is not finished writing it yet.
The chapter you are in right now is not the last one. The silence is not abandonment. The unanswered prayer is not a closed door sometimes it is a redirection toward something you could not have seen from where you were standing.
Do not let what you have been through become the lens through which you see God. Let God become the lens through which you see what you have been through. That shift that one shift in perspective changes everything.
Keep your Bible open. Keep your heart soft. Keep asking the hard questions but ask them to Him, not just about Him. You might be surprised what happens when you do.
He is not far. He never was.
With love and faith,
Happiness
P.S. If this letter found you at the right time, share it with someone who is asking the same questions. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do for another person is let them know they are not alone in the asking. And if you want more letters like this real, honest, unfiltered conversations about faith, life, and finding your way
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This is a very good article 👏. Maybe the question people seek to answer is whether God has executive powers. Can he hold a plane as it drops? If yes, why doesn't he?
I grew up in a religious environment where doubt was often treated as something dangerous. Something to overcome as quickly as possible. What I've come to believe is that doubt is often part of an honest search. Some of the most important questions we will ever ask are born from experiences that shattered our previous certainties.
There is a distinction between God and the people who claim to represent Him. For many people, those two things become so intertwined that when one collapses, the other seems to collapse as well. Untangling them can take years.
The idea that faith is not tested when everything is going well. It is tested when life unfolds in ways we did not choose, when prayers seem unanswered, and when the explanations that once felt sufficient no longer are.
Whether someone arrives at faith, loses faith, or finds themselves somewhere in between, I think there is value in continuing to ask the questions. Not because every question receives an immediate answer, but because honest searching has a way of changing us.
Thank you for sharing a reflection for those who are still asking. Many more people are carrying those questions than are willing to admit.